diff --git a/characters/Xeon.odt b/characters/Xeon.odt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bddce7c Binary files /dev/null and b/characters/Xeon.odt differ diff --git a/characters/a b/characters/a deleted file mode 100644 index e69de29..0000000 diff --git a/characters/char.md b/characters/char.md deleted file mode 100644 index bf41ffc..0000000 --- a/characters/char.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,117 +0,0 @@ -# Character Sheet: Xeon Echo - -## General Information -- **Full Name:** Xeon K. Echo -- **Age:** 24 -- **Gender:** [TBD] -- **Occupation:** Freelance, multi purpose. "Cash is cash, if I don't turn it down it's a good job" -- **Education:** Self educated in most modern and legacy systems, formally educated at the high school level and certified in various technical disciplines -- **Residence:** [TBD] -- **Notable Traits:** Intelligent, reserved, highly self-critical, deeply analytical -- **Philosophy:** Life is a system, I must be a system too. - ---- - -## Psychological Profile -### Core Conflict: -- **Trapped in a self-destructive cycle** of validation, failure, and self-hatred. -- **Terrified of becoming arrogant again,** but also crippled by self-loathing. -- **Mislabels their struggles as narcissism,** reinforcing their isolation. -- **Believes success means nothing,** but failure means **everything.** -- **Knows they need change,** but believes they are incapable of real growth. - -### Personality: -| Trait | Description | -|------|-------------| -| **Intellect** | High\u2014analyzes everything in terms of logical systems | -| **Emotional Processing** | Repressed\u2014deflects positive reinforcement, internalizes failure | -| **Social Skills** | Outwardly composed, internally disconnected | -| **Self-Perception** | Defined by past mistakes but **misunderstands their own psychology** | -| **Response to Praise** | Shrugs it off, doesn\u2019t register it internally | -| **Response to Failure** | Catastrophic\u2014each mistake is proof of total inadequacy | -| **Core Fear** | *What if I can never change? What if I\u2019m still that person, just hiding behind guilt?* | - ---- - -## The Cycle of Self-Destruction: -1. **Success doesn\u2019t matter** \u2192 No satisfaction or self-worth gained. -2. **Failure is proof of worthlessness** \u2192 Leads to self-hatred and avoidance. -3. **Avoids risks** to prevent failure \u2192 Ensures stagnation. -4. **Pushes away support** because they believe they don\u2019t deserve it. -5. **Craves validation but rejects it** \u2192 Even when they get it, they feel like a fraud. - ---- - -## Stigmatization & Mislabeling: -- **Believes they are a narcissist, but they aren\u2019t.** - - They **over-analyze** their every action\u2014true narcissists don\u2019t do this. - - They feel **deep guilt** about their past\u2014true narcissists rationalize harm, not obsess over it. - - They are punishing themselves based on **a false assumption.** -- **They think self-hatred is accountability,** but it only fuels more mistakes. -- **They don't need to be "fixed"\u2014they need to understand themselves.** -- **The real problem is the cycle, not who they are as a person.** - ---- - -## Background -### Early Life: -- Naturally gifted, aced every class from K-9th grade. -- Praised constantly, feeding an early **ego-driven** self-image. -- In 10th-12th grade, only had **two B\u2019s,** but they felt like **personal failures.** -- Once asked: *"Why do the other kids call me dumb when I'm smart?"* - - Now, they **scoff at the thought,** embarrassed by their past arrogance. - -### Defining Mistakes: -- **Online recklessness:** Posted things they now regret, but details are **fuzzy.** -- **Belittled others due to their intelligence,** assuming they were \u201cjust being honest.\u201d -- **Realized they hurt someone.** A moment where they saw, maybe for the first time, that they weren\u2019t just playing a role. -- **Memory repression kicks in**\u2014they can\u2019t fully remember how or why. -- **Now, every compliment about their intelligence reminds them of that past self.** - ---- - -## Behavioral Traits -### How They Present Themselves: -\u2705 **Calm, composed, and competent.** -\u2705 **Respected for their intelligence.** -\u2705 **Seems like they \u201chave it together.\u201d** -\u274c **Internally hollow\u2014success is meaningless.** -\u274c **Avoids deep conversations about themselves.** -\u274c **Never openly expresses frustration, only anger in private outbursts.** - -### Key Coping Mechanisms: -- **Intellectualizes emotions**\u2014treats feelings like system errors. -- **Uses dry, dismissive humor** to deflect genuine concern. -- **Pushes away kindness** because they believe they don\u2019t deserve it. -- **Avoids reminiscing**\u2014memories are fragmented, distorted, and painful. - ---- - -## Thematic Symbolism -- **Flies & Bugs:** Wonders if flies know they\u2019re a nuisance but can\u2019t help it\u2014just like them. -- **Hammers & Tools:** Desperately wants to be *useful* because they see no worth outside of function. -- **Code & Errors:** Views the world as a **Turing-complete system** and believes they must be too, ignoring the bigger picture. -- **Mirrors & Reflection:** Struggles with self-perception\u2014**can\u2019t trust their past self, can\u2019t trust their present thoughts.** - ---- - -## Key Questions for Development -1. **Can they ever break free of the cycle?** -2. **What moment forces them to challenge their self-perception?** -3. **What happens when they fail in a way they can\u2019t ignore, but also can\u2019t catastrophize?** -4. **If they could see themselves as a child, what would they say to them?** -5. **What would happen if someone saw through their composed exterior and truly confronted them?** -6. **What happens when they meet someone else who truly is narcissistic?** - ---- - -## Character Arc Possibilities -- **Redemption?** They learn to forgive themselves\u2014not to excuse the past, but to move forward. -- **Destruction?** They lean further into self-sabotage, unable to break the cycle. -- **Breaking the Binary?** They realize self-worth isn\u2019t about hating or loving themselves, but accepting imperfection. -- **Breaking the Stigma?** They finally recognize that self-hatred is not self-improvement. - ---- - -### **Final Thought** -*"If I keep treating myself like a monster, I\u2019ll never stop acting like one."* diff --git a/world/Proto6Inc.odt b/world/Proto6Inc.odt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e20c1c3 Binary files /dev/null and b/world/Proto6Inc.odt differ